Sunday, October 29, 2006

Of Prospects and Perception

Anyone read today's TNP report about the debate about the media and law, with reps from each side defending their beloved career industries? Media people and lawyers were there... ahhhh Honestly i don't care if you don't know about it. Like as if it will stop me from posting anyway. Heck by the time you read this, i'm prolly sleeping my nice fat ass away.

- That actually summarises my point for today. If it's too abstract for you. Whatever. Read on then...

Careers are like available everywhere right, just that finding the perfect one is so damn hard. And it's especially harder when you gotta choose between a few lines altogether, case in point the media industry - there's a whole range of things you can do - spin doctors, creative marketers, cam whores, word freaks - aka PR, Advertising, TV, Journalism. There's more lah of coz.

I've always thought that journalism is the red button labelled 'emergency' if by year 3, i'm still totally clueless where to go, but come to think of it, it's kinda pathetic to be a journalist. [tomatoes start flying] [i say "tomatoes?! grow up"] But seriously, everyone knows the saying "Those who can't do, teach." Well to me - and i've been thinking about this way before that debate thing - to me Those who can't do, reports about it when other people do it. Point is i'd rather be someone that report is for than someone it's by. [ppl start thinking "even obituaries and crime reports?] [i say, Go suck on your mama's nips, you clearly haven't grown up yet] Heck i'd rather be a teacher, even thinking of being one 'stead of going into the big J-sm.

Ok so that was part jibber and part jabber... the real point of this post is to express my utmost disappointment in self.

Because I'm feeling especially fat and ugly like an anorexic teenage vainpot prom princess wannabe, and it's so sad that i'm the exact opposite. And that's sad. And even sadder, the raison d'etre is it's the first holiday weekend where i automatically feast for 2 days. So i structured words into something intelligent in an attempt to cover up fat and ugly with wisdom and intellect...

I formulate that, "Solving the problem in solving a problem is distinguishing between a heart-to-heart and a face-to-face, and I’m a genius who can come up with 2 smart points in one quote" - Friedrich Angushausen -2006



There is no point putting anything here because the above quote will overshadow whatever is written.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

To Quote Sandra Oh...

Fuck MLE
Fuck AM
Fuck MPP
Fuck PRMP
Fuck SCR
Fuck EOF
Fuck DMC

Fuck Sentosa
Fuck Friendster
Fuck Kindness
Fuck national SERVICE
Fuck Anal Retentivity
Fuck Idiots
Fuck Biotches
Fuck Relationships
Fuck Pretentious
Fuck Evil
Fuck Life
Fuck Contradiction
Fuck Emotion

All of the fucking above can fucking Fuck each other


..."Somebody sedate me."

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Letter to the Attention Whores

"Dear...

"Indonesia - Thanks. Thanks for the haze. Now Indonesian tourists can feel right at home when they come to Singapore. And those rich PRs that ran away... i mean migrated to Singapore will remember that you exist, and will hopefully realise fellow Indonesians need more help than the Singapore economy.

"North Korea - Thanks. Thanks for the tests you painstakingly carry out. But may i know what for? And how many tests are you gonna carry out before actually doing shit? It wouldn't be something to look forward to of course, but i'd rather your hype be justified. Btw, your fashion sense sucks - you're kinda like the national example of a fashion faux pas. Why don't you work on that instead? Start with the basics aye?

It's ironic how these words are not directed at the countries per se, but at fellow human beings that had literally gone bad.


Lots of Loathe
A soul angry enough to scold not one, but two nations



People are idiots. I hate idiots.

Friday, October 13, 2006

When too much is too-HoO-hoO-hOO much

It's one of those days when i treat people to a cuppa. A cup of something deee-licious i'd like to think. These are the lucky few...







And this is my treat. I'm sure they'd need some soothing tea or something after all that. So...







Cheers from Down Under. No not Australia. Lower. Think Red.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Freddy's Choice Awards: October's Most Lame Sentence Uttered

this is the first 'open' category where contenders have till the end of the month to show their worth to be winner.

as of now, the lamest shit i ever heard is...


In response to the phrase "fuck up"
she answered, "i wonder how the down is like."

-----------------------------------------

-claps hands enthusiastically-

-well done-


...to which i predict the response would be, "no, rare please."


it was uttered by anonymous Lim
hint: she got fangs and every word she says burns



Thou who thinks too much, should make this statement a turning point

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Thesaurus for the Mentally Unstable

right so some of you may know Will & Grace is my favourite tv show ever. well... now you do. they've got the funniest characters. and the best guest artistes. what more can one ask for? a spin-off perhaps. the finale was May 18th 2006. watched it last month. obviously i have problems accepting that the show actually ended - good things end too quickly. but i just watched the pre-finale special, and what's this feeling in my stomach? nothing emotional i hope.

watch the show too many times that things i say are unavoidably adapted from the show. yea2 i know wadcha thinking. well not really. but wadever it is, big whoop.


Karen a.k.a. Anastascia Beaverhausen - rich, rude, racist. the ultimate bitch. funny as hell. cute voice. sings good. dry humps. drunk and high 98% of the time. she's the one for me...


Grace: Karen...! Are you flashing that woman?

Karen: She started it.

Grace: ...she's NURSING...

Karen: ...yea that explains the little bald man.


-----------------------------------------------

Karen: Can't believe i'm at a public pool. Why doesn't somebody just pee directly on me.

-----------------------------------------------

Karen: Dear Lord, if i'm ok i promise i'll dedicate the rest of my life to serving you.

Will: It says here you're fine...

Karen: Haha, fall for it again God.


-----------------------------------------------













karen & Beverly Leslie; cute closeted gay man with a cool name.



karen and Iranian guest character in the show. pee in the pants.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Freddy's Choice Awards: Most Obnoxious Statement to One's Partner

Ok so this category is similar to the other one, but it's requested by Queen Von of Obnoxioustown herself so i'm bound to oblige.


And the Freddy goes to...

"I love you as much as i love myself. And baby, that's a lot of loving =)"



Gets confused after entering a roundabout

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Freddy's Choice Awards: Most Binge-Worthy Reference to One's Partner

And the winner is...

"My dar"


... followed closely by "My dear"

like... i can't help but cringe so much that my eyebrows and scalp touch whenever i chance upon this 2-word poison... What are those people mad? to me, those phrases translate to "pui pui pui, ecckkkk PUI (with phlegm)"... it's mushy... no... it's more than mushy... it's unnecessarily overtly mushy... it's the disgusting bucktooth cousin of mushy... it's nowhere near cute and bouncy... and if u jump on it you will Sink right to the bottom - no floating around in midair. It's one of those things that make me wanna shower to cleanse myself after reading.



Just what is our contemporary London Bridge?