Freddy's Choice Awards: Sweetest Sweet Revenge Statement

And the award goes to...

“You and me – it won’t work no more – I’m done with my ugly fetish.”



What's scarier than a lesbian? Two lesbians.

Freddy's Choice Awards: Most Obnoxious Statement

And the award goes to...

"I never thought i could fall in love with a man until one day when i looked in the mirror."



Did Sleeping Beauty invent the beauty sleep?

The Burn Book - Chapter 2

Okayyy i officially insulted/shouted at/burned another person today. Shit it... ain't it jus common sense to let people who're already waiting for the lift go on first? Jus coz we have 2 bikes dun mean u gotta kiasu past us and wait smack in front of the door like some raging homo rushing to get into drag for the night shift down in ol' fort road. Wherever man... And to think you ain't got the guts to even look back at me biatch. My "shitface" remark was barely satisfactory. Ohh i can only visualize the things i would do to your middle aged smug face and that dinner-in-styrofoam you were lugging around. Prolly one of those ppl who simply won't wait extra minutes to have their dinner - 'empty stomach' - Wonder what it feels like with a knife portruding through it?

Moral of the story: At times young people need to remind adults some things they have forgotten. You think i'm an asshole, my only crime is pointing out the undeniable truth.

I'm going to Oprah hell

Remember my last post? about the pizza?

Well i officially just indulged

I'm still indulging

It's cheese stuffed at the end

It's packed with everything chicken on the front

Some of the cheese actually flowed onto the chicken part and hardened

I couldn't resist. I could. But i didn't want to


Now I'm typing like a 3 fingered obese

and My legs are shaking

God help me. Oprah forgive me

la table du temps

...that's BAD french, should be l'horaire

Yeah so 2B timetable is out. Let's list out the good things first:

1. ALL lectures at the same LT - standardization simply means i don't have to think so much. I can just hear my crown chakra guiding me... "just head for the Niner" it says
   
2. QUITE a variety of lecturers - no more of that "him/her again" negative 2-liners that happened a lot previously
   
3. The Third Day off - on Thursday, chances are there's either none or only one class that day (elective!)

Now on to the bad stuff

1. Just before i initiated my very own golden jubilee about What? Day (Wednesday) being a 2-hour deal, realised i've a date with the female Napoleon Bonaparte every week from 5:30pm-7:30pm. What drrr I do? Argh prolly squeeze GEMS in btwn but there'll still be hours to kill
   
2. T22 - What's with the number '2' this sem? Like there's 2 classes at T22, my most hated part of SB. It's such a BURDEN going there. The blasted CROWDED lift, then walking across that claustrophobic slanted corridor; it disturbs my feng shui. Then on Fri, gotta climb an additional 2 floors to the sixth! 8am some more... can just see myself huffing and puffing. DAMNation
   
3. Not even gonna talk about a possible 2-hour break on Mon should i be so fortunate as to NOT have to drop da Specialised Death in FTV
   
4. Freddy Senior bought pizza and it's 11pm - I gotta stay away from the kitchen! Digression but it's part of my ordeal today on 9/11. Been at home larding myself further. Spent the whole day in front of tv watchin DiscoverHallMarkWorld aka channel hopping. And i actually took a NAP in the afternoon. Oh freddy...

The Games We Play Now

Forget the PlayStation, Poker Cards, Role Playing, MahJong, Lan Games(tried. can't.) and XBOX 180 degrees. Here's what real 18 year olds play: M-Tion (Manipulation)

Learning M-tion (pronounced "M-Tee-YOn"):
1) Life - some people simply have to go through Life and they know how to M-Tion
2) Boredom - constant innovation leads to development of many versions of M-Tion


How-to-play M-Tion Version 1.1:

1. Go to the chatrooms - Case: the gay ones
2. Adapt - a common way is to Look For Sex - you'll soon be dicksired
3. Converse - words must be filled with intelligence and empathy but dun come across as a snob - * if possible, stray away from sex topics to make the convo meaningful to both of you
4. Feel - this will occur to those who can actually feel their emotions - some call it Guilt
5. Proceed! - if you want to continue with M-Tion, ignore #4 or get used to it
6. Continue chatting on MSN for many days - a pic or two might be requested but need not always be shown

** When the other party starts to turn you off (if he didn't already turn u off from the start), proceed:

7. Turn bad - like a rotting apple, show your bad side bit by bit
8. React to reaction - respond to him in a way that will keep him talking to you
9. Happy Ending - customise the climax- rmbr this is the last thing u say


Possible reactions to #9 and their remedies:

a) "Fuck Off" - Reply, "Ok, but FYI, we straighties do it different. You poke behind we poke in front" "Straight people also Fuck Off by blocking you from MSN." Proceed to block him.

b) "I'm sorry i offended u somehow" - Go back to #4 onwards

If Scenario b) occurs a 2nd time - Reply, "DUDE, i'm straight! Perhaps you are too blinded by all the rays shining from the 7 colours of the rainbow to realise that by now?"

c) "(Sobs Sobs Sobs)" - Experience #4 for some time - if he is too detestable, #4 may be redundant

*** this is just an example; other variations may involve old enemies, current enemies, or whoever accessible. Level of risk and adrenalin rush vary with different M-Tion subjects



Disclaimer
I am not homophobic. Embraces diversity. If any homosexual person hates me for this entry, i ask you to redirect that hatred to those who despise and shun you. Not those who are simply stating facts, lightheartedly. Think.

As you can see, this is also meant to test the features of blogging. Note the excessive italics and bolds and the numberings thingy

P.S. listening to repetitons of Christina Aguilera's Hurt while typing this. Feels like one of those schizo-murderer, Beethoven-composing-Ode-To-Joy, freaky moments. Coincidentally, like the guy who grabbed her dress here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=OGeIkaG4RR4 You can't see his face but his hand is mystifying and scary at once.